This is going to be a public post, just because I really just want to get this off my chest and to see what others think.

Recently, I have been thinking about a few people from my past and how things ended. I find myself wondering how that person is doing and what they are doing, because for one reason or another that person affected my life majorly. This could be friends, family, and/or boyfriends, which means their affect could have been a negative experience that brought positivity or positive experience that opened my eyes.

I miss these people dearly whether they are dead or I'm dead to them. I even miss the ones who hurt me more than I could even imagine, but my heart still longs to know if they are ok. I just wish sometimes I could have another chance to make amends, but sometimes I had that chance and lost it.

With MySpace, Facebook, and LiveJournal, you have the capability to read your former lovers' and friends' pages without them noticing, but if they contacted you would you be willing to talk to them? I had a friend and former boyfriend tell me that he was squeamish to talk to his ex-girlfriends because he never knew their intentions. I can understand this completely, because there was a point in my life when I reevaluated my old relationships and tried to have a relationship with the guy again to see if things could be different. In most cases, it wasn't, but at least I knew. However, there were a few that I did "try again" and still felt there was potential, but there was always something that abruptly ended it causing things to be left unresolved. Unresolved relationships are always the hardest to let go, but I digress.

If your former friend or foe, or former boyfriend/girlfriend contacted you would you be willing to talk to them? Would you contact them? Do you think they'd be willing to talk to you? Have you contacted someone from your past and they didn't respond or someone from your past contact you and you didn't respond?

Also… Have you ever searched for them on any of the search engines like Google or Wink or Social Network Engines like MySpace, LiveJournal, or Facebook? Do you think finding people so easily is a bad thing?

Is it wrong to be so curious?

I am sure most of you might be thinking, "What the hell is a crop?" because i was. A Crop is a social event where scrapbookers come to scrapbook. The event is being organized by my sister-in-law and will be held in Funkstown, MD. If you are interested please visit the website: http://www.croptocuremd.com/ or read the details below!

All proceeds will go to the Muscular Dystrophy Association, which you all know my family are huge supporters of since my nephew, JC, as Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy.

I hope you all can attend!

Crop to Cure MD

September 22, 2007

9 a.m. – 6 p.m.

Funkstown Fire Company

$40 pre-paid* reservation fee includes:
- large personal scrapbook space
- goody bag for each participant
- full lunch, snacks and bottled water
- door prizes
- much, much more!

( Registration Information )

Top 5 Comfort Movies and Quotes Per tarott's Request.

1) The Breakfast Club
"We all are pretty bizarre, just some of us are better at hiding it." - Andy

2) The Princess Bride
"You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means." - Inigo Montoya

3) Heathers
"Dear Diary, I want to kill- and you have to believe, it's for more than just selfish reasons, more than just a spoke in my menstrual cycle. You have to believe me!" - Veronica
"Our love is God, let's go get a Slushie." - JD
"Well, fuck me gently with a chainsaw. Do I look like Mother Theresa?" - Heather Chandler

4) 10 Things I Hate About You
"And hell is just a sauna." - Walter Stratford
"Maybe if we were the last two people alive, and there were no sheep. Are there sheep?" - Random Guy
"I guess in this society, being male and an asshole makes you worthy of our time." - Kat

5) Dogma
"I think it's better to have ideas. You can change an idea. Changing a belief is trickier. Life should malleable and progressive; working from idea to idea permits that. Beliefs anchor you to certain points and limit growth; new ideas can't generate. Life becomes stagnant." - Rufus


(I'm not sure if you really can consider Heathers a comfort movie, so in that case here is a bonus answer, because no matter what or when it comes on I watch it.)

6) Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
"We are the music makers and we are the dreamers of dreams." - Willy Wonka

I haven't had a chance to post about the entire move and such, so I am going to take this moment to try to recap everything as quickly as I can.

( Recap Cut For Length )

Today has been the worst day for me at work, because my beloved Pandora has closed down to observe the Day of Silence. The Day of Silence is to raise awareness of the Internet Radio Act, which increases the cost of licenses for music causing several internet radio websites to close or start charging people. Currently, Internet Radio stations are paying twice as much as Satellite and traditional radio stations.

Personally, I love streaming Internet music, especially Pandora, because Pandora allows you to enter the music you like and they will try to match other bands. This allows me to discover new bands and because I can listen to mulitple songs by that artist I don't illegally download music before I purchase the CD.

Keep Internet Radio free! Contact your local Senators and Representives and pass this along!





*** Real post coming soon. Sorry. ***

"So there goes my life passing by with every exit sign. It's been so long sometimes I wonder how I will stay strong. No sleep tonight I'll keep on driving these dark highway lines." - "Hello, I'm in Deleware" by City and Colour

Tomorrow we leave for TN. It's going to be the absolute biggest decision I have made. The simple things are making this extremely hard for me, and I find myself breaking down into tears because of the simple, mudane things I once took advantage of such as the sound of the trains, spontaneous ghost hunting trips, and seeing the Emerald City as I race around 495.

So far, I have managed to stay strong in front of my family. It's best they don't know I am breaking inside, but I want to cry when I am around them. I just refuse to do it, because they need to know that this is my choice... my educated and well-thought out choice.

Today I went to see Ms. Betsy, the well-known psychic in MD, at Landsdowne with Roxi. We discovered that Ms. Betsy passed away a little over a year ago and has been replaced with Ms. Betty. No, I am not making that up. Ms. Betty was much more accurate with her reading and gave me quite a bit of confidence (not like I didn't already).

Wish me luck and a promise to keep in touch. I'll post when I get down there.

"But I will see you again I will see you again a long time from now."

Hello, Hello.

We are currently counting down to the last day of work at USPS. Offically, it is less than 24hrs or 8hrs of work. I'm excited. Things are going well. Everything is ending on a good note and not a bitter end. :o) Then it will be about 6days until I am driving down the neverending 81 to my new destiny. Saturday I am planning a Ghost Gathering and plan to be out almost ALL night doing has much as I can.

For the first time in a long time I have a since of purpose and direction with complete confidence in my decision.

I have crossed the "T" and dotted the "i"'s in my name and faxed the copy of my offer letter and I have resigned from my position at the US Postal Service. My last day will be June 8th. Shortly after, I will be on my merry little way down to Tennessee to work for the State of Tennessee. My Northrop Grumman manager actually asked me, "Are you leaving because you are bored?" I had to stiffle a laugh, because I am bored technically but I told her the truth about moving to TN, which she can sympathize with since she is from the area.

Excited is an understandment for how I feel right now. Like I have said in the past posts I am a whirlwind of emotions. Most of it is excitement about a new position and opportunity to develop my career, but there are a few faint gut clinching thoughts and emotions going through me.

A lot of the time I have been reflecting about my life and experiences in MD. I have been thinking a lot about my ex-boyfriend who treated me badly just to have me stomp on his heart (unintentionally). The closest friend who turned out to be my worst enemy. Driving around 495 and having the sun hit my face just right to make me feel completely happy about my life. My wild days of high school with friends I thought would be by my side still. The many scars I wear proudly and my many moments of shining glory.

Looking back I did have a lot of joyous moments, but I am thinking more about the negative moments in my life and how they tie me down to this state/area. As the song Mailbox Arson from Alexisonfire goes...

This town is no longer mine. It's fucked with me for the last time...
I'll strike a match and burn away every tie that binds me to this place

It's just ironic that I work for the postal service and find that song extremely relevant.

Spicy Tuna Salad, Eel and Cucumber roll, Maryland Crab roll (crab with old bay seasoning), Code Red Mt. Dew, and a 3 Musketeers bar.

Most would consider this bizarre and disgusting.... I, however, consider it heaven.

I thought I should share this little nugget of greatness.

Map of Online Communities

I am anal retentive and an extreme procrastionator. However, organizing and cleaning up my friends/communities on LJ isn't a really a waste of time, but theraputic. *nods firmly*

I noticed my LJ friends page was taking FOREVER to download, so I left/removed about 30 communities today and color code my friends/communities. I feel oddly accomplished, yet I feel like I haven't done a dame thing. LOL! If you aren't on my friends list, then leave me a comment.

I'm working on the Washington County haunted locations write up for the HS website. How funny is it that "You Burn First" by Alexisonfire comes on when I am working on the write up for Burnside Bridge? LOL!

I want to thank everyone who has donated so far to our cause. I truly appreciate your donations and support. Saturday is the Stride Ride Walk at White Marsh Mall. I wish you all could see the joy and strength of these brave children as they walk. It is truly aspiring, because you actually get to see your fund raising efforts in action. The MDA have a summer camp for children to attend, and thankfully JC will be going to the camp this summer. He will be the youngest child to attend the camp, but after meeting him during a fundraiser a couple offered to pay for the camp.

In order MDA news, clinical research as found that a common blood pressure medicine called Losartan has completely restored the muscule struture in rats that have MDM thus giving hundreds of families hope for their sons.

So, please continue to help my family and hundreds of others find a cure for this disease. Please help us reach our goal by making a donation at our Stride & Ride Donation Website. Thank you so much.

I love Wil Wheaton. In fact, he would most likely be in my Top 5 if it was a list of nothing but guys. But, he linked to a blog with the picture of Cheney lurking in the bushes as Bush gave a speech yesterday. Priceless are the responses for captions. Especially my Geek God, Wil Wheaton:


"Summon Cheney

Target President gains +5/+5 (+20/+50 against Media) until end of turn. Country must sacrifice all Civil Liberties and send Constitution to the graveyard on next upkeep."


Sure, if you don't play Magic: The Gathering you might not get it, but it still is funny shit.

Walking around the Tidal Basin during the Cherry Blossom Festival is overrated.

A co-worker and I went for a walk today to get out of the office. I suggested that we go to the Basin since I have actually never walked around the Basin during the Cherry Blossom Festival. It was SO crowded and windy. I think I kept having to remove little petals from my shirt and hopefully I did it discretely. I don't think they are pretty flowers and I am ALL sorts of congested. Bah!

Did anyone notice that today is 04-03-07?

04+03=07

Freaky.

Also freaky, I have a told of 666 MP3 on my laptop. Hee hee.

Sunday is JC's 5th birthday. Please help if you can. Thank you.

As some of you may or may not know, my very charming and smart nephew, JC, has Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy. This neuromuscular disease only affects boys and is inherited by the mother. This is a very sensitive topic for me because JC is an extremely rare case since the gene mutation doesn’t occur in the "normal" location, which means in order for me to know if I am a carrier, I have to get a DNA test. Thankfully, with the help of Muscular Dystrophy Association (MDA) and John Hopkins, we will be able to locate the actual gene which might not only help my nephew but my future sons. The MDA is responsible for helping multiple families who have sons with all forms of neuromuscular diseases by giving them wheel chairs. My family is raising money for the MDA Stride & Ride walk. Last year, we raised a little over $9,000 for the cause and we are trying to raise $10,000.

Please help us reach our goal by making a donation at our Stride & Ride Donation Website. Thank you so much.

As some of you may or may not know, my very charming and smart nephew, JC, has Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy. This neuromuscular disease only affects boys and is inherited by the mother. This is a very sensitive topic for me because JC is an extremely rare case since the gene mutation doesn’t occur in the "normal" location, which means in order for me to know if I am a carrier, I have to get a DNA test. Thankfully, with the help of Muscular Dystrophy Association (MDA) and John Hopkins, we will be able to locate the actual gene which might not only help my nephew but my future sons. The MDA is responsible for helping multiple families who have sons with all forms of neuromuscular diseases by giving them wheel chairs. My family is raising money for the MDA Stride & Ride walk. Last year, we raised a little over $9,000 for the cause and we are trying to raise $10,000.

Please help us reach our goal by making a donation at our Stride & Ride Donation Website. Thank you so much.

I am looking forward to attending the Computers in Libraries conference in April, but I am not sure which workshops I should sign up for. Most of them I can float between different classes if I feel, but there is one that is an all day class verus taking 2 workshops.

The all day class is about web site redesign for libraries, which I already know a lot about, but they are throwing phrases like "affinity mapping, photo reports, and map diaries into the blurb and I don't know what the hell that means. I consider myself fairly tech savvy in my field and read LOTS of articles, magazines, and books, but these terms are foregien to me. Anyone know what they are? kaylaraine, I am look at you.

The class does cover RSS feeds and implementing, which is what the two workshops would be about and is a very intruiging topic for me.

Another topic is Games, Gaming & Libraries, which is what my MLS would be specifically focused on. I am planning to take the programming and development approach to library science, and creating learning games is one of the aspects of the degree.

UGH! I hate (and love) this! Why do they have to have more than one class I want to do!? Any advice?

I saw this article posted on iVillage's Diet and Fitness RSS feed and I thought I would check it out since I am a loyal and avid iPod addict.

iTrain is a personal trainer on your iPod, which ranges in activities from sculpting, lifting, and cardio. They tell you in the details what the level of difficulty is, the equipment you will need (if any on some of them), and the amount of time. The cost ranges from $1-$4. I haven't tried it personally, but I am definately going to try it.

I thought I would share!

Why does water have an expiration date?

QUICK!

My friend

A few random things...

1) Out of the blue my brother called my mom to tell us there was a sexual predator next door to us (actually he is on the same street, but on a different section).

2) My co-worker sent me an article about a 29 yr old sex offender posing as a 7th grader

So, naturally I decided to go to the Maryland Sexual Offenders Website and poke around. It was really interesting because most of them were sexual abuse of a child, which is scary. But, by far the scariest thing is that I found two people I went to high school with on the list.

You should check it out: Maryland Sexual Offenders Website

The best part of my day is when I pass by Forest Glen. I have such a strong draw to that place and I feel like I need to go back especially after reading a book about it in the store the other day. It was a remarkable place back when it was still active, and to see it now is just horrible. I can't believe how ignorant people can be to destroy and steal such an amazing part of history.

Maybe I will return some time soon since now the foilage is dead and I can see the sculptures.

I have decided to pursue my Master's degree in Library Science. I have been talking about it for a while and I have finally decided to do it. Like I said before, the fates keep pointing me into this direction and it's about time I listen! If you didn't click on the link, then I will tell you that I hope to go to UMD for my MLS. I have been gathering a lot of feedback about my concentration since I have to focus on one (or several in the case of the "special" concentration) specfic type of library or library function.

I am really leaning towards either:
Information Architect - Creating applications and websites for libraries
Special Libraries - Limited knowledge about various libraries and their functionality
Academic Libraries - Focuses on College level libraries

If I truly decide to do this, I have to have my application in by Feb. 1st. I'm so excited and neverous. Northrop Grumman will pay for about $5200 of my tuition per year, which isn't bad since the course takes about a year. I have NEVER used this, but it calls for it... Squuuuuueeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Someone most definately needs to put Uwe Boll out of our misery. He apparently is making a game based on Dungeon Siege called In The Name Of The King: A Dungeon Siege Tale, which I haven't played the game Dungeon Siege, but I have eyed it often and thought about buying it to play. I don't know WHY production companies think this guy is a genius! None of the games turned movies (done by him) have been good yet they are still giving him money to make these chunks of crap.

I still don't know how he got some of the actors he did (especialy Jason Statham, who is mostly know as the kick-ass martial art killer in The Transporter), but I am assuming some of them are just plain desparate. Oh, Matthew Lillard how you have gone down hill. The few stills they have available does look good and seems to be in better quality of costumes and scenary, but he is INFAMOUS for having horrible scripts and medicore actors so I hope the decent list of actors might help the latter.

Even more shocking is that he has started filming on... You guess it! The sequel to the horrible movie Alone In The Dark, which is based on same named game. This beautiful piece of shit featured Tara Reid before the binge drinking and botched bob job along with Christain Slater. Anyone who could possibly believe Tara Reid as an educated and intelligent anthropologist should be shot along with Uwe Boll. Nothing more is known about the movie besides it is in production and Uwe is marked as "producer," but I hope that Tara and Christain realize the big mistake they made by making this movie by not being in the sequel. Uwe is schedule to make a movie based on Postal and Far Cry, which I don't know anything about these games.

When will people realize that making a movie based on a video game RARELY is good or successful. Tomb Raider, Resident Evil, and Silent Hill have been the best video games converted to movies, which is funny if you consider they all had dominate female characters. Sure they might not have been oscar worthy, but they still did the game justice in my opinion. There are a few movies that are just so bad that I LOVE to watch them like Super Mario Brothers and Mortal Kombat (which say what you want, but the soundtracks for Mortal Kombat were awesome). I found a list of movies based off video games, which made me glad that Uwe isn't directing more. Soul Calibur, God of War, WarCraft (2008), Metal Gear Solid, Castlevania, Devil May Cry, Prey, and Quake are slated to be produced and a third installment of Mortal Kombat, Tomb Raider, and Resident Evil are to be expected. Does anyone think Angelina is going to do the 3rd movie?

I know.. It's 1am and you are most likely going/thinking... "Why the hell is she blogging at this time in the morning when she should be sleeping?"

The answer to that is an unfortunately one. Friday night I went to an amazing party for SWE members from Capitol College. I had a blast, but it was sad as well. I found out that a former CapCol student that I knew had died. Her name was Lisa Brown. Her and her daughter were shot in the head mid-day on Tuesday. They believe the murderer was Lisa's mom's boyfriend, who was convicted of a similiar murder almost a decade prior and was illegally out of jail.

I ran into Lisa less than a year ago on my way home from work and she was on her way to work. It was so great to see her since she was one of the few that I was an RA for that I wonder how things worked out for her after she left college. Things seemed to be going well for her, which made me happy since I knew how much she struggled.

Lisa was a diabetic who hadn't learned to control it. One night I received a shocking call from her roommate. Lisa was bleeding from her nose/month and screaming, but was incoherent. She had gone into diabetic shock while sleeping on the top bunk and fell out of her bed thus hitting her face on the desk. I had never experienced something like that and was scared shitless. The haunting look in her eye was a tie between utter helplessness and pain. That wasn't the last time I had to handle this situation in regards to her, but it was the most frightening since it was the first time. After that, I made damn sure to see how she was doing and to help her as much as possible. I even got her a job in the library.

She was a beautiful woman who had a lot of hard times. It seemed that things were looking up for her. My friend and her former roommate, Alexis, said it best.. "We spent that year trying to save Lisa and we couldn't this time." Even though I was only physically in her life for a year... All the things I experienced with her has affected me forever. So many people during college affected me so much, and I am sure not many know this, but that is one reason I am happy I went to CapCol. I hope her last thoughts were happy as she cared for her child, and I hope her death was as painless as possible.

Tomorrow is her funeral. I will be attending it.

I hate being an adult and having responsibilities.

As many of you know, my nephew has muscular dystrophy. He thankfully is in the early state of the disease, but considering how this little man is the apple of his Aunt and Uncle's eyes we hope that through stem cell research and drug developments that he won't have to suffer. Unfortunately, he has the more rapid form of detioration, which makes this research even more important. It's even more important for people to realize that not all stem cell research uses stem cells from aborted fetuses.

I read a blurb about new developments in Muscular Dystrophy yesterday on the metro, but I wanted to read the full article and since I was finding it for my sister this morning.. I thought I would share.

Stem Cells Help Dogs With Dystrophy

Abstract: In promising new research, stem cells worked remarkably well at easing symptoms of muscular dystrophy in dogs, an experiment that experts call a significant step toward treating people.

Let's hope this is a sign of the future, granted it took them 8yrs to get this far. :o(

The conference was quite interesting and moving. I grew up around two Deaf people in High School and I understood the difficulties they faced everyday. However, listening to some of the stories about why 508 is important was just fascinating, because you don't realize how horrible and rough life could be without your sight or hearing. What is even more shocking is the treatment some of these people received.

The Section 508 Federal Regulations handbook is only 8 pages long and out of those 8 pages they only have 5 regulations and standards, but the odd thing is... In the 8 pages, there no reference to the word Accessibility when the point of the regulations is to make information, content, and media accessible.

( EXCELLENT INFORMATION IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN 508.. Including Free Stuff! )

I have been a pusher of 508 complainance since I learned about it, but after going to this conference I completely understand the importance and need for it. I just hope that I can get that across to more people.

Very interesting article curtsey of WIRED magazine about how to protect yourself from your "Bad Rep" online. Remove anything that might shameful when applying for a job, which tech savvy employers might "Google" your name and information.

Thanks, ReputationDefender!

Now, my future employers won't know of my ghost hunting hobby and possibly more.

Is it sad that I don't know what a dangling modifier and an autodidact is?

I love tea. I love tea in almost every form possible. I had a friend once tell me (mind you this is our first "date") that I was drinking "dirty water" and I responded, "Mmmm. It's so dirty and good!" It is dirty water, but I love it. I have recently been on a kick at work where I am drinking mass quanities of hot tea. Most of the time it's a green tea base with some mild flavoring. I find that drinking the hot tea tricks my mind in thinking I am having coffee, which I am trying to wean myself off. And before you say it.. I know that tea has caffiene and isn't a proper subsitute, but Green Tea has little caffiene and I am not drinking it with sweetener.

Drinking tea reminds me of when I use to teach Tassiology (Reading Tea Leaves) at college. I would go to this place in College Park called "Smiley Herb" and get some amazing loose tea leaves for the reading. It was divine, but I wouldn't get it often because I didn't have a tool to seep my leaves when I wasn't doing a reading. My co-worker showed me the catalog for The Republic of Tea and I have been drooling. I think I have a few things to add to my "wish-list".
Steeping Spoon
Brew Basket for my porecelin pot
Tea Press Pot

I definately think I am going to pick up some of the teas on the site, but maybe I will do it for my birthday gift to myself.

I forgot my USB drive today.. I feel so lost without it. What makes things worst is that I am going insane because of the CSS code I am doing is not working properly. Jerks. Oh well. As long as I have my nice hot tea.. I am mellow and calm.

Happy All Hallows' Eve to you all. I am not feeling all festive today about my favorite holiday. I am thinking of doing a few things to maybe reconnect myself, but I know that it won't be done because they need to have clean clothes is MORE important. :oP Enjoy this awesome holiday you, Heathans! ;oP



Click to Enlarge!

You bastards! You took away my GMAIL talk! *grr* Granted, I rarely talked on it, but it's the principal! *sigh*

YOU CAN TAKE MY GOOGLE CHAT BUT YOU WILL NEVER HAVE MY LJ OR MYSPACE!

Wow. Thanks to everyone who took my survey/poll about politics. It was really interesting to see all of the responses. It really surprised me to see a majority of you believe that we will have an African American president before any other race, but I failed to provided a slot you to submit which minority leader/politician/etc. would you vote for. I really couldn't think of one off the top of my head and I would love to hear who you would select if you would like to post it as a comment. The other shock was how divided we all were about the idea if we will have a woman president before a minority president.

I personally think the US is more open to a woman president and not a minority, but if the immigration ruling happens allowing all illegal immigrants to be legal citizens... then I think we will have a minority president and my intial choice of an African American being the first minority would change to Hispanic.

I am glad to see I have a diverse and polictical savvy assortment of friends. Thanks for taking it again. :o)

My brother-in-law decided to start a debate (if you want to call it that) with 3 women and my husband. He just bluntly said, "I wouldn't vote for Hillary Clinton for president." When I asked him why his only response was, "Because it's a woman." This made me think considering I am a semi-femnist. Considering minorities were given the right to vote before woman would a minority be voted into office before a woman or would a woman be voted into office before a minority. Even better.. what if she was both a minority and a woman?

I created a poll to see what you all had to think about the situation.

( This is better than the electronic election systems... )